Sunday, July 31, 2011

Ode to an Al

Let's talk about a gal named Allyson Clare.  Once every 2 weeks I get a text from her with encouraging statements such as "your blog is lame," "you need to post on your blog," "how come your blog is so boring these days?"  Well it's your lucky day Al, here is a post just for you. And if you recall, you are on the side panel of this blog which gives you the go ahead to post your brains out.  So why don't you post every once in a while.
Welcome to a photo montage of what you don't know about ACZ:

She loves low class hotels. I think it's because she can trash the place and not feel bad.  You should have seen the flips she was doing on this bed. I think there are still holes in the bedspread from her high heels.

She loves origami. Or in this case toweligami.  She's always folding papers into shapes or animals.

She's very regular.

She's a sucker for fake glasses, especially those without lenses. 

Her motto has always been "safety first." You won't see this girl driving around without her seat belt. 
She has an affinity for abstract art. If only Picasso were around today, she would be having his babies by now.

She loves birds.

She has narcolepsy.

If I could describe her in one word it would be 'sweet.'  She's always a complete lady, never using foul language or innuendos.

She's kind of a bore at parties. 

Let your mind run with this one.

Let's get real. If she were a dude I'd marry her.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

HMC, ever heard of him?

Who is HMC you ask? Well you haven't gone on any outdoor extravaganzas with my father if you don't know who HMC is.  Hal Murdock Christensen, the one, the only.  The guy adorns all of his outdoor equipment with his initials. Don't think about stealing anything from this guy: camp chairs, oars, coolers, life jackets, and most importantly his most prized possessions--STRAPs.  It's a wonder his posterity aren't tattooed upon their arrival into this world. Now this guy is a rare breed, and a definite good time.  He sponsored our flag football team to their championship people, he's the real deal. Well, the other day I stopped off at his office and found a new addition to his bookshelf. Check it!
See that nesting doll on his bookshelf? HMC is not into nicknacks so I knew it couldn't be an ordinary nesting doll. Naturally, I read the words Osama Bin Laden on the outside of the biggest doll.
Well obviously I was curious, why does my dad have a nesting doll of Osama Bin Laden? So I opened it up. Who did I discover?
Saddam Hussein. What the.... I knew this was going to be good. No wonder the guy lets this nicknack stick around. Who could possibly come after this guy?
Well, I believe this is thcontroversial Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat. Well isn't that special.  
And next?
Honestly, I don't know who this is. History buffs, now is your time to shine.  The winner gets four quarters.
Correction: Kate says it's Benito Mussolini. She gets four quarters. Sorry homies.  This dude was one dirty Fascist SOB. 
And the tiniest of the nesting dolls........

Hitler, duh!

I did a little research and found that this most coveted set is called the "Wanted Dead or Alive Nesting Doll Set."

So run out and get yourself one of those before they're all gone!
You can thank HMC for this little treasure.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


I'm not sure if you homies know this but the NBA is in a lockout right now (so is the NFL but I don't really care about that).  These 2 ladies and no baby are a bit chapped about this.  We NEED a Jazz season! Our happiness kind of depends on it, after December 25th the NBA season is one of the only things that keeps our chins up through the LONG winter. PLEASE...