Thursday, December 22, 2011

Best of 2011.....

1. Best nickname: The churro.

Best Halloween costume: Polygamist.

Most painful decision: Wasatch Back Ragnar.

Best Tan Lines: Henry.
Best News: NBA Lockout Ends.

Best Purchases: Dog Hat for Rrrosa and Rollerblades to blade the streets.

Most Important Thing Learned: A bushel of crabs = 80

Best Piggyback: Mim and Kate

 Best Bumper Sticker: NYC

Best Handshake: Neighboring Stoops.

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a bitchin' 2012!

Sincerely, Your ladies with no babies.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Look at you for ugly.....round 2

A couple years ago we did this post, and it was a real crowd pleaser. If you're lucky you might see a hideous version of yourself below. Ladies and gentlemen presenting........ LOOK AT YOU FOR UGLY!

 This guy clearly has issues. He is icing 
his neck, his wrist, and his left knee I believe.

 And that's a cheerio!

 It's a shame I have a boy face and SB looks handicapped.

And he's a doctor. SCARY!

Sorry Ma
And the best of all the pictures. Thanks Al for making all
my dreams come true with this photo.
Birds are terrifying!

Friday, December 16, 2011


So my job is dealing with kids, right? Molding their minds, tolerating their weirdness, and tying their shoes is basically what my day consists of.  Part of that is picking up my little homies from the lunchroom and taking them back to the classroom. In the lunchroom, I always run in to some of my past students. It's a lot of hugging and how are yous blah blah blah. Well occasionally I run into Amanda. I taught her a few years ago and she's always been obsessed with my personal life. This is odd because most of my students think I live at the school. I have even been asked where my bed is. They don't even consider that I am a normal human being with a home and neighbors that walk in and out freely.

My run-ins with Amanda always sound like this: "Miss C., Miss C!" "Hi Amanda, how are you?" "I'm good. Miss C., are you married yet?" "No Amanda, I'm not married yet. Have a good day!" Just as I'm thinking, wow this Amanda is a freaking broken record, doesn't she know I live at the school????  Amanda decides to spice up our latest conversation with this little endearing comment, "Do you at least have a boyfriend?" And this was the face I made.

Grow up Amanda!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

I now consider myself notorious for having pretty solid neighbors. Let me prove my point. Three years in Idaho Falls, my BFF Ronald Drake Williams lived just around the carner (corner). Becca's BFF Allyson Clare Zollinger lived right down the street. Do you even realize how awesome it is to call up your BFF to play and be over at their house playing in literally 60 seconds? Boy, was I an efficient kid. And boy, did Ronnie and I take our playing time seriously.

Example two: the sleepy little town (thanks Cori C.) of Farmington, Utah where I spent the majority of my childhood after moving away from the BIF (Big Idaho Falls). As a spunky little five-year-old feeling quite down about moving away from Ron-ski, I wasn't too psyched about F-town. Enter the Larsen family. I could be absolutely wrong about this fact, because experience tells me that five-year-old's don't have the clearest of memories, but I believe we bonded over conversations about some of our other neighbors and how they really weirded us out. I don't want to name any names, so let's just call them the Reece's and the Swoonover's. Holy, let's just say they were... whatever. Needless to say, it's nice having neighbors to borrow flour from or have Christmas movie nights in their sweet basement theater. Larsen's + Christensen's 4 Life.

Example c: Becca and I moved into a cute little town home in Sugarhouse. A few weeks later, we noticed some dudes moving in to the place across from us. I won't lie, initially we thought they were gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). Then we thought, they couldn't be church people (because no one else in our town home "complex" goes to church...). Long story short... they borrowed our wireless internet one night, we were talking at church on Sunday, I didn't recognize them, we finally put it together that we were neighbors because our wireless name is "Ratfinks" and Becca and I will find any way we can to mention how we won the BYU Flag Football Intramural Championship (Go Finks!). And so began a beautiful relationship with our neighbors across the hall. I'm fresh outta Diet Coke? I take three steps to my neighbors and I'm in business. I don't even have to put shoes on! Or a jacket! I don't have to get in my car. I could crawl there if I had to. I could also yell really loud if I didn't want to get off the couch. Sometimes, we both keep our doors open so it's like our places are one giant apartment! Our internet is slow? No problem, we got our neighbors. We're outta milk? No big deal. We need a refill but don't feel like going out in the cold? Who cares?! Chances of our neighbors heading to the Maverick around the corner are high and they always bring us back the goods. Candy? They've got a 5 lb bag of Cinnamon Bears (Min Min Bears as we like to call them). Good neighbors are soooo dang awesome. Our Christmas Tree needs watering? No problem, our neighbor Nick has assigned himself this important job this holiday season. Keith needs a partner to play Modern Warfare 3 on the Playstation? I'll step right in and help a guy out (or hurt, last time I had 0 kills and died 40 times...). The cherry on top? Jason is an ER doctor so if Becca trips and cracks her head open on Hugh's cage? No problemo, homeboy will suture you right up. You're probably thinking it couldn't get any better, right? Well, you're wrong! Nick is into every show we're into and has also opened our eyes to new shows!!! Now that's love.

Who needs husbands when we've got neighbors.

Merry Christmas to us.



Nick, Keith and Jason gettin' cozy in the front seat where Jason promptly said, "This just feels right."

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Give me a break

I've lived within 27 different girls. 27. I've had 27 roommates. That's a lot. Too many sometimes. For any guy who thinks that sounds like a dream...THINK AGAIN! Don't get me wrong, I've had some killer roommates. Some of my best times in life have been with my roommates. ON THE OTHER HAND, some of my worst times have been with roommates. Picking roommates can be a risky thing. Moving in with random girls is even riskier. I've lived with bulimics, pathological liars, megaphones (no Angie, I'm not talking about you ;)), chronic belchers, and general weirdy weirdos, just to name a few.

For those of you who are still living without the one permanent roommate whom you have to love no matter how gross he can be at times, I thought I'd give you a few signs of a bad roommate. If you do one of these things this is my really nice way of saying STOP. Your current/future roommates will thank you/me. When I google searched "horrible roommate" (never search "bad roommate" BTW) this pic popped up. So here you have it, 8 signs of a bad roommate.

1. You pull a half used can of sweetened condensed milk out of the fridge and drink straight from the jagged metal lip - EVERYDAY

2. Your boyfriend sleepily walks up the stairs and gives me a fist bump at 6:30 am (while I'm in my towel) on his way out the door

3. You buy the Julia Child's cookbook and decide to make everything in it after you've just watched "Julie and Julia" for the first time. But in your attempt you leave all the half cooked food (because that cookbook is damn hard) on the counter/floor/sink/coffee table/bathroom counter for days, and days, and days, and days, and....

4. You leave your used barf bowl by your bed when you leave town for 2 weeks

5. You take a cookie/slice of bread/cinnamon roll/deliciously gooey brownie and don't recover them so they get crusty and no one else can eat one

6. You borrow my shirt (after I've told you not to) and then get seriously sweaty tacos while wearing it and sneak it back into my closet with a wretched BO cloud around it

7. Interrupt me working on something important to tell me every single detail of your conversation with your really weird co-worker

8. Jolt me out of my very deep sleep every time you slam the toilet seat down at 12am, 3am and 6am

Got any juicy ones to add??

xoxo, Ally Z