Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Awkward Stage

Today I went to my parents ward. It actually went smoother than it has in the past not too many of the usual horrifying questions, "Are you dating anyone?" "I have the perfect person for you, when are you free?" Hello, I'm 22 years old I'm not a spinster yet. Anyway, on the way out my perfect Farmington 20th ward Sunday was shot to hell. Kate and I were waiting for my Dad to get out of his meetings when a good family friend came up and started talking to us. Basically, this is how the self-esteem depleting conversation went, "How are you guys liking Provo?" I reply with, "Oh I'm actually living in Sugarhouse." She said, "Oh right you are graduated and working, well aren't you in an awkward stage of life right now." Excuse me....who are you to tell me I'm in an awkward stage? I tried to plead my case to her, "Well I do like having money and not having homework." She shot me down with, "Ya that's nice but everyone is always trying to set you up and get you married off." She continued on and on but all I kept hearing was awkward, awkward, awkward. Kate was loving every minute of this, as you can imagine. The conversation ended with this, "Gosh Becca, too bad I'm so great and you're so awkward." Kate's a smart aleck, shocker!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Words I Hate

I hate certain words, I cringe when I hear them. Most people have this problem right?
-punkin (instead of pumpkin)
-woof/woofs (instead of wolf or wolves)
-lava (pronounced laaava intead of lauva)
-Plus lots of anatomical words/most anatomical words
-mission buds/buddies (can't it just be, friend I met on the mission?)

Posted by: Becca

Friday, February 15, 2008

Ally, Exposed

So I'm not real familiar with the whole blog thing. Yeah, I've perched over Becca's shoulder and added my two sense every now and then, but I have never been the lone author. So please, hold my hand as I take my first steps into the blogosphere.

Usually I don't like to leak too much info about myself. I like to have some mystery. I like to keep people guessing and wondering. As the wise Pee Wee Herman said, "There's a lot of things about me that you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't want to get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." However, I decided that I need to get into blogging more and I figured what better way than this tag thing. I won't divulge too much info though, remember, it's all in the mystery.

1. I have a thing for cowboys. A serious thing! Those cowboy butts totally drive me nuts. It's something about the combo of dusty boots, shiny belt buckles, bulging biceps and sweaty Stetsons that makes my heart race. Any guy that can ride a bull named Fu Manchu gets an A in my book. I've always secretly wanted to be the girl who wears the boots with the short skirt, rides in the middle seat of the truck with my cowboy's arm around me, singing Brad Paisley as we drive off down the dirt road. Oh, and I like to get mud on the tires.

2. I despise birds and squirrels. In fact, there is not a word in all of Websters that can describe the level of hatred I have for these mangy little mammals. Hating birds stems back to my dark 5th grade years. This was the time when I was labeled the "bully," had a little bit of a weight problem, and wore an oversized, bright red puffy coat (ironically like the one I wear to this day), and gigantic gold-rimmed glasses. I was walking home BY (not with), a boy I had a huge crush on. I was trying to be all cute and coy and working up the courage to talk to him. When all of a sudden, splat! A bird toto'd on me, right down the front of my chubby girl coat. Talk about salting a girl's game. Needless to say, he didn't find me all that cute after that.
As for hating squirrels, well you would too if they hopped in the shower with you.

3. I love rum balls. In fact, I love all rum flavored things. Cake, cookies, ice cream, water, medicine, etc. Growing up my family would make a trip to SLC to go school/birthday/Christmas shopping several times a year. After a long day in Gap Kids we would head to Schmidts Bakery (lucky for you it is still in business, 6E and 21S) where my mom would get us each our own rum ball so as to make sure that we all developed the same love for rum balls that she had. Well mom's idea worked and now I crave those things fort nightly. Just a couple of years ago we discovered that they are made with real rum, and a healthy portion of it too. Thanks for the addicition mom.

4. I am the world's fastest chicken pecker typer. I literally have no concept of where to place my hands on the keyboard. I peck around with the tips of my pointer fingers. I even do the cross over thing, and I'm dang good at it too. Remember back in elementary in computer class when you learned the important keyboard fundamentals? Well I skipped over that crap cause I couldn't wait to play Oregon Trail!

5. This one is near and dear to my heart. I have a sick love and admiration for crude, redneck humor. Larry the Cable Guy is my idol. Yeah, that's right, I like dirty humor, so sue me.

"Git R Done!"

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Kate's Tag

So I'm posting. KATE is finally posting. I posted Rrrosa's tag, but apparently some people still aren't satisfied. So here we go, 7 things you may not know about me.

1. I like those colorful wafer cookie things. You know, the ones that are pink, white and chocolate. They kinda taste like cardboard at first, but after a couple they start tasting pretty good. Secretly, I've always really liked them. Whenever I am traveling and we stop at a gas station for some re-fuelage, I always see those tasty wafers, and I never get them because I don't want to be made fun of. But what do I care if people think I'm retarded for liking those wafers, I like em, so I'm going to start buying em.
2. Every week I have a special, designated day where I wear sweats. I call it 'Sweat Pant Monday'. Everyone can agree that Monday's suck, right? So I decided long ago, probably my sophomore year in high school, that sweats can and should be worn on a regular basis. In fact, I spent most of my high school days, in full sweat suits and moccasins, with my hair slicked back into a wet bun, with no make-up and a soda in hand. If you're wondering whether or not these fashion statements made me climb in the social ranks, the answer is, you betcha! People worshipped me! So, I invite everyone to join me on 'Sweat Pant Monday' for a fun-filled day, of comfortable bliss.
3. I worked at a golf course in high school. What did I do at this golf course you might ask? Well, my official title was 'Cart Girl'. But once I had been there awhile and figured out how everything worked, I created a system. I would pull 20 to 25 carts out and then go in the back room of the pro shop, lounge on the recliner, and watch TV. If I was working a morning shift, I had to get up at 5 in the morning and that just isn't easy for me. So after I pulled a bunch of carts out I would slumber in the recliner. If there was nothing good on TV I would read. Or watch movies. The point is, I was the best employee Davis Park Golf Course ever had. Except, my manager did ask one of my friends also working there, if I had a social disorder. Ah, ya win some, ya lose some.
4. Remember Necco Wafers? You know, the chalky, circular wafers that come in roll form. I believe they still sell them although I don't know why. Well, my best friend Seth and I used to eat Necco wafers all the time. Not because they were tasty, or that they were cheap, but because we liked saying their name. Necco Wafers. And we would say Necco wafers in a high pitched voice. Every time we said it, we would both crack up and continue eating our chalky, nasty candies. Weird, I know.
5. When I was a small child, I punched a girl in the face. Yeah, you heard me right. I punched her right in the kisser. I'm generally not a violent person, I leave that up to Becca, but on that day, I was fed up. My mom dropped me off at Sarah Stosage's house while she ran some errands. I hated the girl, but apparently my mother didn't believe me or something. Anyway, Sarah was a non-sharing, bossy, little rat. After Sarah gave me another ridiculous order, I clenched my fist and gave her my best shot. She started screaming and crying naturally. When my mom found out I was grounded. The good news is, I never had to go back to stupid Sarah Stosage's house again. Holla!
6. I like to dance. Not the choreographed, skilled dancing. But the 'freestyle' if you will. Yes, I am aware that I am a little white girl from Farmington, Utah. But I still can break it down. There will be dancing at my wedding, and I will require all members of my family to break it down with me AND my hot husband. Excluding my dad, of course(Just joshin' dad). Anyway, the point is I can bust a move it the mood and music catches me right.
7. I want to be Elaine Benis from Seinfeld. She is one of my heros. Okay, so she might not be a 'good' person, and she might not have 'great' morals, and she might not be the most 'honest' person on the planet, but people, she is freakin' bold. She will stand up to anybody at anytime. She doesn't take any crap! I wish I could be so bold. Like when Jerry's girlfriend has a wad of kleenex and Elaine asks her for one to blow her nose, and the girlfriend says, "No, I can't. I don't have a square to spare." Elaine gets all offended so when the girlfriend has to go the bathroom at the restaurant, Elaine runs in there before the lady and steals all the toilet paper out of the stalls. Then when the girlfriend is in the stall and realizes there's no toilet paper, she asks Elaine if she would pass some toilet paper under the stall. Elaine smugly says, "Sorry, I don't have a square to spare." The girlfriend says, "You!" "And Elaine comes barreling out of the bathroom, arms full of toilet paper rolls. It is the coolest. I want to be like Elaine.

So there you have it. I hope all you post nazi's will get off my back now.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Bringing Baby Home!

That's right, you read it. This week was monumental for us because we brought Rrrosa to Sugarhouse. We've been parents for the last week. We really just wanted to fit in with all the "dog people" in Sugarhouse. Mostly homosexual dog people but dog people none the less. Ally and I both like dogs and we've debated about getting a dog since we've graduated but I've been against it because I don't want to be one of those people that their dog is their kid. "Oh I can't go I need to go take care of my dog." "Oh can my dog come too?" I refuse to be one of those unmarried...or married people. Well this week sealed the deal for us. I became the disciplinarian and Ally was the spoiling high voice parent. Who knew we would take roles?

This is how it went:
Ally: "Come here baby."
Rrrosa: whining from all the attention she's getting.
Ally: "What do you want girl?"
Rrrosa: whining, whining, whining.
Ally: "Oh baby what's the problem?"
Becca: "Hey Al quit touching her and she'll stop."
Ally: "I just want to love her."
Becca: "Quit loving her for a minute."

So we're not getting a dog but it was fun to have someone greet me when I came home. Thanks Rrrosa for the late night Pillow Talk it was unforgettable.