Wednesday, March 24, 2010

25 Things To Do Before I Turn 25

I turn the big 2-5 in May, here are a few things I want to do before then:

1. Take a mental health day in the middle of the week with a few of my ladies to enjoy the spring weather.

2. Create a budget for myself.

3. Start sewing.

4. Try no D.P. for a week.

5. Visit Ash in Vegas.

6. Eat more vegetables.

7. Cheer the Jazz through the playoffs.

8. Go consignment shopping in Sugarhouse.

9. Surprise someone.

10. Get off the hook presents for Kate and Ally's Birthdays.

11. Karaoke-- find Disney Karaoke CDs (Aladdin and Beauty and the Beast? YES PLEASE).

12. Get a swimming suit for the summer.

13. Get new running shoes.

14. Visit my bro and his family in Kansas City--celebrate his graduation from Med. School HOLLA!

15. Write cards to my students (so I can mail them in the summer).

16. Watch Dumb and Dumber.

17. Go to a baseball game.

18. Make some summer plans.

19. Do something special for my mom.

20. Spring-ify Seth's grave.

21. Win a handstand contest.

22. Fresh flowers in my house.

23. Try something new.

24. Dance Party.

25. Think of something bitchin to do to ring in year 25!

Here I come year 25, I'm welcoming you with open arms.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Kick in the crotch Monday

Who likes Monday's? I used to, simply because I didn't have class on that day, and I wore sweats. Every single Monday was Sweat Pant Monday. It was a beautiful thang, and I got many people to join me in a day filled with comfortable bliss. But now that I'm a workin' gal, I can't "stick it to the man" anymore by wearing sweats all day. Today,  "the man" was owning me in my work clothes. Tonight, I'm owning "the man" by kicking him square in the crotchal area.

Things I want to kick in the crotch today: 

1. Waking up so early it's still dark outside
2. Eating something super unhealthy and feeling guilty about it after
3. People who have Pink Eye or a gross cough and still come to work/school, GO HOME ALREADY!
4.  Ingrown toenails, the bain on my existence
5. Cubicles
6. Nascar
7. Nascar fans
8. People saying Nascar is a real sport, as if
9. People who put mufflers on their cars/trucks/bronco's to make them louder
10. Really loud motorcycles, particularly bullet bikes

11. Having to wait forever to be seated at a restaurant
12. Cold french fries
13. People who vote entirely based upon political party, not the best person for the job
14. Mosquito's
15. Rush Limbaugh
16. Traffic

What is chapping your ars this week? We want to hear about it.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Trash it up

Trashiest place on your body to get a tattoo.........GO

Kate and I vote: buttocks area with the words exit only (Kate knew someone with this, BARF)

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Kick it........

Kick in the crotch Sat.....?
Kate sucks at doing this which is ironic because she has probably kicked more things in the crotch than anyone else.

1. Rich people that don't deserve to be rich.

2. Emo

3. Sluts

4. The Jazz when they lose

5. Leprechauns

6. Stupid holidays that celebrate leprechauns

7. Not saying what I want to say.

8. Snow after a very warm day.

9. Motorcycles with those gay high handle bars.

10. Not being able to teleport.

11. Standardized Tests

Ahhhh I feel better! God bless America and that I have the right to virtually kick things in the crotch whenever I see fit. Holler!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

We Ain't No Holla Back Girls!

Wow, if only we had dignity and pride. Look at us for f-u-g-l-y. Go Jazz!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Spread em,' Here Comes My Steel Toed Shoe!

Let's get in on:

1. Bed Head

2. Wedgies

3. Paying for parking

4. Stuffed Animals

5. Flat Soda

6. Girls that call you hun or sweetie when they are your age or younger

7. Going to the bathroom and afterwards realizing there is no toilet paper in the stall

8. Courtesy Laughing

9. Stupid personalized license plates

10. Not being able to fall asleep for no reason

11. Cigarette smoke

12. Rabid Cats

13. Realizing your neighbor is a registered sex offender

14. My mom not saying "half ass job or chicken shit" enough.