Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I don't know if you know this, but we're kind of a BIG deal. We, meaning the RAT FINKS. As in, we are the champions. As in #1. As in the BEST. We're not only the best, but the best lookin' too.

Let me give you a little background on the Rat Finks. 

The definition of a Rat Fink according to Free Dictionary.com is as follows:  A person regarded as contemptible, obnoxious, or otherwise undesirable. 

Get the picture?

Bazooka got her shorts ripped clean off
Well the Finks had a less than mediocre regular season, with a record of  2 and 3. Going into the single elimination playoffs, we were the finky underdogs. When we would come rolling in, in all of our undesirable glory, the opposing team often turned their noses up at us. We looked like a bunch of hot misfits all thrown together to form a football team. 

The single-elimination, 31 team tourney began. 

Game 1: WIN in the final seconds after the moronic refs called back 2 TD's on bogus calls. Suck on that, refs!
Game 2: WIN in double overtime against a team who had previously beaten us. 
Game 3: WIN against some overly large gals to secure a bid to the semis
Game 4: WIN in snowy, icy, freezing conditions against a team who might have considered us to be "obnoxious"... hello, we're the Rat Finks. Dur dur dur dur

Game 5 CHAMPIONSHIP: The heavily favored Dynamite looked rather confident going in. Well, after we intercepted them on their first 2 possessions, they started to look worried. Our defense was solid and made some super bitchin' flag pulls on the QB. Kellie scraped her way in and pulled the QB's flag for a big loss. SB was right by her side shouting, "GOTCHA!" Nice SB, classy. That's exactly how the Finks roll. Beck and Keelia, aka B-Loaf & Bazooka each caught touchdown passes. Atta girls! Whitney had 2 interceptions. Kel (The Ice Box), Beck, Michelle (Baby Hands), Britt (Critter), SB (Naughty), Rebekah and Ally (Sticky) blitzed their little hearts out. Everybody stepped up and blocked, which The Shred greatly appreciated, although we really missed our toughest gal Cobra (Marian), who unfortunately had to work. Our defense definitely won us the game. The other team was getting so frustrated that they were yelling at each other all game. After the game, the girl who had been doing the most yelling made her grand exit by shouting the "F Bomb" and storming off the field. C-L-A-S-S-Y. 

We'd like to give a special shout out to our ever-devoted and beloved fans. Without y'all, the Rat Finks never would have been Champions. 

The biggest thanks to our SPONSOR: Christensen+Associates for all the killer "swag". Thanks, Wicken & Mugsy! I hope we made you proud!!

Right after the game
Getting our shirts

SB's celebratory dance

 FINKS ON TWO, 1...2... FINKS!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Answering the most broad question with just 13 words.

The two ladies went to church today like two little Mo Fo's should (Mormon Folks, best misunderstanding of an acronym ever). Well, after we had been dodging the Relief Society presidency for several weeks now, due to our moving out of the ward boundaries, we were finally cornered. The Pres. and one of her counselor's wanted to sit down and "get to know us". After all the pleasantries and small talk, the counselor dropped a nuclear bomb of a question... 

"What are your hopes and dreams?" 



Becca and I both exchanged an uneasy glance. All the while sarcastic comments trickled into my brain as they tend to do like, "Well I always wanted to be in the WNBA. Or ideally, I would like to play baseball professionally, you know, like the first girl to play with the boys. I'd also like to own a yacht, travel the world, and get paid to write about it. Oh, and I would also like to marry a trust fund baby... or a doctor already done with school." 

While I was entertaining myself in my head, I hear Becca answer the hugely ambiguous question in just 13 words. 

"I would really like the Jazz to win the whole thing this year." 


Later, we both agreed that the Jazz winning the championship was top 3 on our list of hopes and dreams. Mine also includes the Cubs breaking their 102 year World Series drought. 


Now, all you twoladies lovers, let me ask you one question: 

"What are YOUR hopes and dreams?"

Friday, October 29, 2010

Blah blah blah

I am blogging at work! Do you know how rare this is? I'm a teacher people, I never have time to blog at work.  It's a teacher work day and I just finished my grades so........

We play on an intramural all girls flag football team (The Rat Finks) in Provo.  Last Tuesday 4 of the rat finks had tickets to Ingrid Michaelson.  Well one of these finks was Kate, the QB and El Capitan, who has never seen Ingrid in concert and was dying to go.  There was a conflict with the concert, we had a rat finks game the same night. LAME. At the last minute Kate (Shredder) sold her ticket and decided the finks needed her more (which is SO true).  If Shredder didn't go who would throw the ball, who would tape the plays to their arm, who would flirt with the refs?  NOBODY! So she played in a BLIZZARD while Ally (Sticky), Michelle (Baby Hands), and I (B-Loaf) enjoyed Ingrid.  Here's to The Shred the brains and talent behind the whole rat finks operation.

And here's to Ingrid for being off the hook.

And here's to the Jazz, will you please pull your heads out!?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Snuggie Talk

About a year ago Kate was in a very strange mood. She was at my house in Sugarhouse and we had two longtime friends over.  It was winter and she was freezing so she found a snuggie and put it on.  The conversation that was had that evening was so bizarre and hilarious we called it snuggie talk.  Kate and I have resurrected snuggie talk.

Let me clarify one thing, the diarrhea talk came from a YOUTUBE VIDEO and for some reason the only thing Scott has taught us how to say in Norwegian is 'I have diarrhea.'

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Kicked where it cizounts.....

You know the drill:


2. How our blog currently looks....why can we not figure this out. Does anyone do pro bono blog work?

3. People that only talk about themselves.

4. When I turn my electric toothbrush on before it's in my mouth.

5. When the Jazz games aren't televised.

6. Losing flag football games.

7. How much DP I've been drinking lately.

8. Cleaning up after Rrrosa. Really....picking up your dog's crap? It's fertilizer people, Relax.

Something I don't want to kick:


Tuesday, October 5, 2010

What I Like 'Most' About the Opposite Sex....

the wrong ones are always SO persistent.  Blah.....

Luckily Jazz Preseason starts on Thursday, GOD BLESS THE NBA!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

If life was a dream, would you dream it again? -SCF

This came spilling out onto paper today at work.


Today is Seth's twenty-first birthday. It seems crazy that the last time I saw him he was only seventeen. There is no way that much time has passed. Last night I couldn't stop thinking about him. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see his face, like he was standing right in front of me. It was comforting to know that I could still remember every little detail of that face. His freckles, dimples, and blue-gray eyes. Eyes that I would recognize anywhere. Oh how I miss those dimples and those eyes.

Last night, as I was laying in bed thinking about him and how much I wanted to see him, I got an immediate feeling that he had laid down right next to me and put his arm around me. I had felt him do this many times before, but not for a long time. I felt his spirit and his warmth surround my whole body. I wanted more than anything to have him near me and through God's tender mercies, he came. He came to let me know that he was still here. I knew that he needed me to know that when I still needed him, he would still come. He was still taking care of me. It was enough, to close my eyes and feel him holding on to me, even though I couldn't see him. For the first time, in that moment, it was enough. I will never forget that feeling for as long as I live.

Happy 21st boy. I love you..

Monday, September 20, 2010

Crotch Kick.....

Today has been rough and I need a moment to kick a few things right where it counts:

1. ILLNESS. I'm sick and I feel like death right now.

2. Writing sub plans.

3. Losing.

4. Washing clothes with kleenexes in the pockets.

5. Not being able to sleep at night.

6. People that torture or injure animals. (cutting cat's and dog's ears, that's the new thing in SL)

7. Not being able to stay in bed when it's raining outside.

8. Courtesy laughing.

What are you having beef with?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

For Charity...

A few weeks ago we got talked into playing in a charity tennis tournament. Now, we don't play tennis that much, probably like 3 or 4 times a year.  That's definitely not enough to be entering ourselves into a  tournament, but it was for charity so we thought, if we're going to look dumb at least we'll be doing it for a good cause.

We know the basics of tennis, like when it's out, when it's in, how to keep score, Kate knew how many games were in a set and I did not.  We didn't know things like how to use those stupid score keepers, that we have to switch sides every odd game, and tiebreakers, don't even get me started. What a NIGHTMARE! 

The good news is: we're quick, we're scrappy, we've had good coaches, and we've got tons of attitude.  So we went in with our heads held high and we showed those 50-year-old ladies who's boss.  At times, it definitely wasn't pretty, but we make a good team and we try not to hit each other in the back of the head when we serve.  Amazingly we won all of our matches and walked away with $60 to Chili's and the most coveted title: 2.5 doubles champions....the best of the worst.

We dressed up for our last match, let's just say my mom was looking bitchin' in the 90s.

No big deal, we just raised $42,000 for Juvenile Diabetes

Thursday, August 12, 2010

You're 23? You look like you're 16.

How many times have I heard this sentence? Twice this week. What an original thought!

Did you think that maybe I wouldn't enjoy hearing you say that before it just spilled out of your mouth? I'm guessing not. Do you think I'm not FULLY aware of my youthful looks? Apparently not.

In the past, I used my youthful-looking-ness to my advantage. Like perhaps admission to movies at the kid price. But all that is over now.

These days, when a dude picks me up for a date and the first thing he says after getting in the car is, "How old are you?" ... Really, guy? You couldn't have thought up a more creative way to get me to divulge my age? Lucky for me, this isn't going anywhere. I knew it from the first moment I laid eyes upon your overly large tired truck and pinky ring.

"But you'll love it when you're older."




That really means nothing to me at this point in time.

Oh.. and I'm still the chubby sister.

Serenity now!!!!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Scooter + Sidecar

We must get one of these, STAT.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

If you could be......

So with my summer vacation in full swing I have definitely had time to think, of course I fill my time thinking about very intellectual and important things: who will get kicked off the bachelorette next, why are Jake and Vienna acting like they are 3.5 years old, why does Khloe talk in an annoying baby voice to Lamar, what's so intriguing about Tim Wriggins, etc....

Lately I've wondered, if I could choose to be super good at something what would it be?  I've thought long and hard about this and in my youth I would have picked something different but now that I'm mature and a genius....... I pick tennis.  Why you ask?  Well I could play tennis for years to come probably into my 80s, it would keep me young and vibrant, I would get no greater joy than beating my prospects/dates at a sport that they think they have in the bag.

2nd choice: Singing

What would you pick?

p.s. I have no pictures of me playing tennis, only being a ballerina, which obviously I'm not.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Kick it where it counts.....

Considering I'm not working this summer, I should be blogging like crazy right?  Well, here's to a July full of blog posts, I hope.

Consider it kicked:

1. WIND, I loathe wind.
2. People who talk a big game, and never follow through.
3. Buying school supplies in July.
4. People that grunt at the gym.
5. Men who drive their cars shirtless, I actually find this hilarious, please don't stop.

I'm living the American dream right now, I don't have much to complain about, HOLLER!
What do you want to kick where it counts?

Sunday, June 27, 2010

From Rags to Riches

You know that song Jenny from the Block, by J LO? It goes something like, "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block. Used to have a little, now I have a lot. No matter where I go, I know where I came from (from the Bronx!)." Rrrosa is a lot like J Lo in one way, and it's not her ghetto booty, it's her rags to riches story. Personally I think Rrrosa had it rougher than J Lo. Those of you who don't know Rrrosa on a personal level may not know her Cinderella story.

As a wee puppy Rrrosa was a member of a family, we'll call the Ratbastards, and they lived up to their name. One day, Daddy Ratbastard decided it was time to move, as the KOA was getting too crowded.  After the Ratbastards packed up their 1982 Caprice Classic, Daddy Ratbastard made a decision to leave wee Rrrosa behind.  But they didn't decide to leave her in the KOA, they dropped her off on the side of the highway, which was thoughtful, especially after years of canine abuse.

Long story short...

Hal's cousin, a real dog lover, found her at her local animal shelter.  After seeing those sad almond brown eyes and her helpless cower when anyone got too close, M.A. decided she had to have her.  By the grace of heaven, our sad dogless family, who was mourning the loss of Our Little Angel (Squirt), ended up adopting Rrrosa as M.A. moved to pursue her music career in Nashville.

And the rest is history...

Now she spends her summers vacationing at her cabin in the Teton Valley.  She goes on daily bike rides, prances on her field of dreams, and lounges in the evening sun.  She also goes on our annual  river rafting trip. And this last year, took a turn on the oars, she really has a great sense of direction. This year Hal has rigged up her own fly rod (opposable thumbs not necessary).

It's been a long road but as J Lo once said, "Don't be fooled by the rocks that Rrrosa's got, she's still, she's still Rrrosa from the block."

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Let the Games Begin.....

It has been an insane month: moving, birthdays galore, trying to finish up the school year, etc... Seriously, it has been wild.  But it will all be over in mere days. I currently have 8 school days left in the year, hallelujah! This school year has almost killed me, it has definitely been my hardest one yet, but I'm alive to tell about it.  What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? I'm not sure if I buy into that crap, but it sounds like a nice thing.  I'm just grateful that I haven't blown my top and cursed at anyone in my class, that would not go over well, they think the s word is shut up or stupid and they think the f word is freakin.  Oh the innocence of youth.  I guess this hard year will make the summer that much sweeter, I will definitely enjoy it to the max.  To all of those unfortunate folks who don't get the summer off, we should all coordinate a summer where you quit your jobs or take a paid sabbatical and then we can party like it is 1985.  I think everyone should have summers off, it's the least America could do for its working class!

Bring on the Summer of Becca and year 25 for yours truly!

Unless my student's kill me in the next 8 days then.....Kate you can have my wardrobe and all my food in the fridge and cupboard. Al you can have my Mary-Kate and Ashley magnet (I know you've been coveting that for years) and the white brush, you're welcome. Rrrosa you can have my car and all my diamonds.

Shabbat Shalom!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Month of Births

Kate, Becca and Ally circa 1992

Let's raise a glass to birfdey month! Here's to the best one yet!

Let's also raise a glass to Sharon and her killer sewing skills. What's not to love about matching purple paisley outfits? I LOVED this outfit! Sorry Kate, only big girls get to wear cumberbuns. At least you got a cool purse.
I'll drink to that! 

xoxo, Ally - #1 birthday girl

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Consider it Kicked!

So our mother hates kick in the crotch days and maybe that's why we've taken a sabbatical.  But....the other  day my Relief Society Pres. told me that she likes kick in the crotch days. Sorry Mom but it's time for a little kick right where it counts.


2. Losing to the Lakers

3. Headaches

4. Not getting enough sleep

5. "Good times" "Cool Beans" "Valentimes" "Punkin"

6. That freaky midget bear mascot at the Jazz games

7. Killer Whales

8. Rob and Big not being a TV show anymore

9. Skeezy dudes

10. Heidi Montag wanting size H boobs for "Heidi."  

Monday, April 19, 2010

Tent Dweller

We have a friend that we will call  Neila.  He is a young male of Egyptain decent, and like his ancestors, the pyramid builders.....and I don't know where I'm going with that, I just wanted to say pyramid builders.  Anyway....Neila lives in a tent, I don't know how else to say it. Why, you ask? You could come up with a few reasons:
1. Maybe he is too poor.
2. Maybe he has nowhere to live.
3. Maybe he's a cheapskate.

bing bing bing, number 3 is the winner.

It's not that he doesn't have enough money, he drives an Acura for sobbing out loud.

It's not that he has nowhere to live, it's Provo, there are tons of rat holes to live in.

Neila has lived in this tent since the Fall. Although scrawny upon first glance, and second glance, he is a survivor, a winter tent dwelling, sleeping bag sporting, carpet insulating, gym showering, tent enthusiast. In fact, he likes it, he even prefers sleeping outside.

So here's to seven months of bleak, winter tent dwelling, 2 feet  away from a house.  Neila you really outdid yourself this time, even for an Egyptian.