Two Ladies and No Baby: It's here.....

Thursday, November 1, 2012

It's here.....

The two ladies and no baby are not Halloween gals. We love fall, we do, but not adult Halloween. We hate to dress up and we usually find adults in costumes obnoxious, sorry Halloween lovers.

These broads over here are holiday season FANATICS! Halloween can't come and go soon enough. November 1st is monumental, the beginning of the holiday season! YES! Finally we can start counting down to Christmas. Our Christmas tree goes up before Thanksgiving usually, and the Christmas music starts today! We've heard many an outspoken person say, "you are ruining Christmas, you're too early what about Thanksgiving?" Blah blah blah! Thanksgiving has no music or rad decorations, plus 1 month is not long enough to adequately enjoy all that this season has to offer.

Perks of Christmas Celebrations Starting November 1st:

You are happier
You swear at people less
You are shopping for others instead of yourself like usual
You are more fun to be around
Everyone wants to hang out with you because you smell like pine and peppermint
You get to see your pet dressed in their festive outfits sooner
You feel more generous so you give homeless people money instead of the usual sneer
You get to wear your festive Christmas sweaters more than the average December celebrator
You get to watch Christmas movies twice instead of just once a season
The old bastard brings you more loot because you've done more with the season than most
You are finally able to devote time to choreographing a dance to Oh Come All Ye Faithful

It's the most wonderful time of the year, give yourself more time to enjoy it!
Trust me, you won't regret it!

3 comments:

Haley said...: The holiday season with you two is like living in "Miracle on 34th Street," or upon the landscape of Whoville! It's a Christmas miracle! And the good times, well, they just don't stop.

Holla at Christmas, ya'll! Holla! November 1!; November 1, 2012 at 5:01 PM
Two Ladies and No Baby said...: You've really outdone yourself here. That list is ridiculously convincing. Can't wait to spend our 25th Christmas together! Santa 4 Life!

KFC; November 5, 2012 at 11:42 AM
Ally Cat said...: I believe I'm one of those "outspoken people". So, I should prolly take offense to this but I won't and here's why: I have never thought about the fact that starting my celebration in November gives me more time to choreograph a dance to Oh Come All Ye Faithful. You may have changed my life and for that I thank you.

P.S. Thanksgiving this year is gonna be off the hook.; November 8, 2012 at 1:52 PM

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Kidz are the Shiz Carner!

Almost in tears 7 year old boy. "Teacher this morning my brother called me a lesbian. And I'm not."

Just after leaning over a 7 year old girl. "Mmmm your hair smells good Miss. C. what do you use? Garnier?"

8 year old boy stays after school to ask. "So....where do you sign up to be a teacher?"

Playing Simon says I tell the kids to put up their two pointer fingers. Boy in the back row instantly puts up both middle fingers and waits innocently for the next command! Note to self...teach kids what pointer fingers are.

I had just asked a couple kids on the way out what they thought the weather would be tomorrow. One boy was talking about what the weather man said and I said, "I don't know how much the weather man knows." A little girl stayed after class and said, "Teacher I know who knows everything about the weather, Heavenly Father and Jesus." Holla Mormons.

We were talking about voting and the elections this past week and I asked my students if they knew who the President was a few knew it was Bush. Then I asked if anyone knew who was President before Bush one kid raised his hand and said confidently "Abraham Lincoln."

A girl in my class read her journal aloud today. It was all about what her Thanksgiving is going to consist of. At the end she said, "P.S. I'm a veggiterian (veggi-ter-ian)." So naturally I asked if she was going to have turkey she replied with, "Oh yes, I am but just because it's Thanksgiving." She's very passionate about her veggiterianism.

A boy came up to me the other day and said, "Teacher my sister has such bad karma, but I always have good karma." (hello, he's 7 how does he know what karma means?)

Today one of my little ladies came up to me and gave me a hug, then she said, "Teacher you are so skinny, my Mom talks about it all the time!" What the....kids will tell you anything, it's awesome, no filter!

A little girl slapping her butt as she's walking down the hall says, "hey Miss C. look, I have a badonkadonk!" I laughed out loud.

I pulled a little girl out in the hall to talk to her about being a good friend. She says, "I'm trying but it's just so hard."

I had them write about love, these are the two best ones:

"Love is like a smoothy, at first you think I really like this and then you think, what have I gotten myself into."

"When you kiss someone, you just do whatever they do."

"Teacher do you believe in the Easter bunny?" I've never seen him, but I believe in him. "Really teacher? I think in college they should teach you that the Easter bunny is NOT real."

Little boy came up to me in the middle of class to report this piece of info. "Teacher did you know that I ate all of my fresh vegetables?"

"Teacher what's our time limit in the bathroom because when I'm going number 1 and 2 it takes me a long time."