Undies & AK 47

Kate: "What do I need to do tonight? I need to do some laundry.  I'm out of undies, I hate being out of undies. I gotta get some more undies."

* Somebody get this girl some undies STAT!

Just when you thought Andrei Kirilenko couldn't get any uglier, he goes out and does something like this.

I would rather french kiss Rrrosa for 24 hours than deal with this guy.

You're kidding me...

So I really don't have a whole lot to say. Maybe that's why we haven't posted in awhile? Maybe I'm all out of witty anecdotes and outrageously ridiculous quips about absolutely nothing of significance? So don't blame me for the following... because it may be boring and totally irrelevant to you and your life.

I've been pretty happy with the NBA playoffs this year. After coming to grips with the Jazz's "midseason meltdown," I concluded that I would just sit back, crack open a tall cold one, and shout smart alec remarks about how stupid teams/players are, or be hyper-critical of everything the Lakers and Heat do. It's been oddly satisfying. I've had a very stress-free postseason and that's because I have no real vested interest in who does what. Just as long as the Heat and Lakers don't win the whole thang.

And guess what...

The Lakers got SWEPT in the second round!!! What could be better than that? Uh, I know, the Lakers getting a beat down in Game 4 by 36 points! 36 points, people!! That is embarrassing! What could be better than the embarrassed Lakers? Uh, pick me again, cause I can tell ya. How about the Lakers committing horrendously flagrant fouls (BYNUM, you A-wipe) in the closing minutes and disgusting sports fans across the country with their lack of class. Lakers are classless? Shocking! Right. We all knew the Lakers and all their fans are ghetto, wannabe thugs. So why not play the part. NEWS FLASH - sometimes it DOESN'T pay to be a horrible person (uh hmm Kobe).

Boy does it feel good. So the Jazz didn't make the playoffs... but the Lakers got SWEPT, embarrassed, AND tarnished their image. For ONCE, maybe it's not easy to be a Laker fan... Whoa, now I'm just being ridiculous.

Anyway, all you non sports fans, I would apologize for the above rant, but you should really be thanking  me when you can pitch in on office sports talk and actually contribute for once. (was that offensive? oh darn)

Hugh is doing great. Rrrosa is as peppy as ever, Al is lookin' fine as usual, and Beck is in bed at 9:29 this fine, Monday evening. So really our only area of concern is Becca. Oh and me? Hopefully, some big changes are coming my way. Don't you worry, I'll keep you updated on my exciting life (I wish it were more like Seinfeld, and I was Elaine).

That's all I've got tonight, people. I'll try and do better, but you know me, I can't make any promises. But thanks for being loyal followers.

Kisses

Holidays....ever heard of em?

I recently realized that Kate and I don't really like holidays, unless they are noteworthy, BIG, celebratory holidays.  Basically, we LOVE Christmas! Okay, okay we appreciate any holiday where we get a day off. But embracing and celebrating holidays besides Christmas, count us out! Sure.....we enjoy Thanksgiving and the 4th of July, but any other holiday, Nah!  New Years: super over rated, Valentines Day: neither one of us is romantic so NOPE,  St. Patrick's Day: yuck, it just gives adults an excuse to wear weird stuff like green wigs and face paint, April Fools Day: every teachers nightmare. "You're the worst teacher ever Miss C., APRIL FOOLS!!"  The list goes on and on. Well ladies and gents I am here to tell you about an exceptional April Fools Day had by yours truly.  I didn't believe it was possible, but I was proved wrong.  Here's a fool proof way to ensure a bitchin' April Fools day (pun intended).

I was visiting my brother's family in Kansas City. My brother is a doctor but he is still very much a child at heart.  By far one of the funniest/weirdest people I know.  I was enjoying the day with him and his family when I started getting all these weird texts and calls about a flat screen TV I was supposedly "giving away." I could not figure out why I was getting these weird calls, so I called my go to gal Ally and the same thing was happening to her.  Eventually we figured out that our home teacher had put an ad up on Craigslist saying that one of us had had an awful breakup and we were getting rid of our boyfriend's TV. Ally and I laughed a little about it but mostly we were very confused for a large portion of the day.  What a perfect prank to pull on your friends and loved ones, right?  Confusing yet hilarious for the person posting the ad. Well Cody and I decided to pay it forward. We put up an ad in Kate's name for a Les Paul guitar for a ridiculous price.  Kate's phone turned off because she got so many calls and texts in such a short period of time! NAILED IT!  After we laughed until we cried. We decided to continue to pay it forward to my bro Scott in Montana.  We put up an ad for his raft and trailer- his most prized possessions.  This guy was bombarded by the whole state of Montana inquiring about his ad.  Cody and I were dying, I've never had a more hysterical April Fools Day.  I guess it's what you make of it, right? Cheers to embracing more holidays.  Shabbat Shalom!

For whatever reason I couldn't help but add some weird pics. You're Welcome.

Introducing...

Hugh Jerry Christensen! 

Adopted on March 7th, 2011
Hatched on January 7th, 2011
Weighing in at: 7.9 oz
Cracking out of his egg at 3:59 AM to a joyful mother and a relieved midwife
Mother and baby bird doing fine

We recently added a new member to our twoladiesandnobaby family. Hugh is a 3 month old, Parakeet with a whole lotta spunk. His middle name is for Hall of Fame, Utah Jazz coach, Jerry Sloan. 

A few fun facts about Hughie: 

His favorite TV show is Glee. Not for the gay stuff (not that there's anything wrong with that), but for the singing. He also gets quite vocal during a good basketball game. The squeaking shoes really get him riled up. 

He loves to be sung to, mostly songs about birds or anything telling him everything's going to be okay. 

He's not a big fan of sudden movements or loud noises, but he sure likes a good belly and foot rub.

 You'll see his sister, Gertrude "Gerty" in the background. She belongs to our pals Jen & Lindsay

We had to house sit Rrrosa while my parents were out of town. Rrrosa wanted to eat Hughie for dinner


Welcome to the family Hugh, I think you're really going to like it here.

Only in America

On Sunday, on our way to church, Becca and I pull up to a stoplight, look over to the car beside us and see two Asian women in US Army garb and... Cowboy hats.

...

We were so happy. God Bless America.

I'll MISS YOU DWILL. THANKS FOR ALL THE KILLER CROSSOVERS.

Hey gang. It's me again. One of the ladies who ain't got no baby.

I've had another... weird week. It was Monday. There I was, minding my own business, when I decided to go get the mail (which I never do, (sorry Beck)). We occasionally get letters and magazines for the dude that used to live in our place before us. As I was tossing the crap into the recycling, I come across a magazine with a red, Mini Cooper on it. Now, I've always had a little thing for Mini's. Maybe it's because I think I might look great in a Mini. I mean look at me, I'm rather mini myself. It just works. So I was like, awesome, guy who lived here before was into cars. I tear open the wrapping on the mag and flip it over. Guess what. BAM! Bare boobs, bosoms, breasteses! I gasp and throw the magazine down. Becca's like, "what??" And I'm like, "Boobs! Becca. Playboy. That wasn't a car magazine! That was a freaking Playboy!" (And I'm not talking about the Playmate cooler  my Grandmother so innocently calls a Playboy). What are the odds of seeing MORE boobs just one week after my run in at the gym in the girls locker room. What did I do to deserve this? Karma or whatever is working against me. Anyway, for the record, that thang went right in the trash.

Anyway. The next day was Tuesday. I came home. Took a nap. Ate some din. Went to the gym to shoot around, blow off some steam. Got there and there were some fellas trying to start a pick up game. They asked me if I wanted to play, I gratefully declined. But after they started playing full court, and were consistently interrupting my shoot around, I decided enough is enough. So they asked me to play again. I said, why the heck not. So I played 5 on 5 with a bunch of dudes. And guess what, it was a pretty good time. Are you wondering if I got handled? I know I'm little, so it's a legitimate question, I'm not offended. Well the answer to your imaginary question is, no! I did not get handled. In fact, I held my own! With the boys! Like in the good ole days! I was draining three's like you wouldn't believe! I don't mean to brag here, but after the "Playboy Incident" (as it shall henceforth be known) I really appreciated the fact that I was still good at basketball. At least that day I was.

The Playboy Incident really put a damper on my week. But you know what makes everything better?!?

...

...

Puppies.

Crap

i'm going to start this post by taking a page out of my pal shanae's book... well technically her blog, {flannaryfarley.blogspot.com}.

this week could be described with one word. crap. why you may ask? lots o' reasons. seriously, a lot. 

let's start it out with well, monday. i had to go to work, nuff said. oh and it was monday.

tuesday, let's just call tuesday a giant dump of a day. i won't get into it too much, but might i just say that i saw not one, but TWO sets of bare boobs on tuesday. yes, you read correctly. bare. boobs. bosoms. breasteses. what have you. at the gym. in the locker room. i had forgotten about locker rooms. i really never go in them. i sort of think of them as public restrooms. well, that is just not true. people do a whole lot more in locker rooms than in just plain bathrooms. i walked in there, needing to blow my nose and... bam. bare. boobs. i couldn't divert my eyes quick enough. i was shocked. girl with no shirt. what? no. i've gotta get out of here. turn around, kapow, another set right in my way. ladies, whatever happened to 'modest is hottest'. whatever happened to stalls? whatever happened to clothes, for sobbing out loud? since when are we walking around like men in our birthday suits? nobody wants to see that. i've got beef with public nudity. in fact, i've got beef with nudity in general. call me crazy. moving on, although scarred. the gym was followed by another crappy incident, but i'll refrain.

wednesday, worked late. silver lining, won my church ball game. i like to win. i really do. becca brought home dinner from blue plate diner. what a nice girl. i like her.

thursday, jerry sloan and phil johnson announced their resignation after 23 years with the utah jazz. let me put some perspective to this people: jerry has been coaching the jazz for as long as i've been alive. i grew up with him. i tried to mirror my game after the one and only j stockton, sloan's protege´. i walked out to my car during work and listened to the press conference with tears in my eyes. i felt like i had lost a grandfather. 

friday, wore my jazz jersey to work in honor of the loss. rip jerry. got my hair cut by one of my favorite pals. then, ladies night. sounds like a pretty go day, yeah? jazz score 50 points in the first half against the suns. nice. i'm feeling pretty good. wrong. it was another bare boobs moment. shazam, jazz finish the game with 14 points in the 3rd quarter and 13 in the 4th. jazz=clobbered. jazz looked like... yep, crap. total crap. sigh. oh and i left my wallet, yes my entire wallet, at the restaurant. didn't notice until saturday afternoon. 

i really don't mean to be a downer. i appreciate you letting me vent. and whine. guess what though, i get to sleep in tomorrow. as late as i want. that is not crap.

oh and on monday, it's valentine's day. 

crap.