Alright ladies and gents, I'm not going to claim that I know everything about dating because that would be ridiculous, but I have been dating for 10 years now. That's right, 10 years! Here's what I know as a result of my decade in the dating world....
With Kate's input, of course (she refuses to be left out of anything).
1. Pay for our date, ALWAYS.
2. Bring me candy.
3. NOT ask me where we are eating.
4. Be a Jazz fan.
5. Shower beforehand. (you'd be surprised)
6. Quote Seinfeld.
7. Appreciate my sports knowledge.
8. Tell me how good I look, even if I don't look that good.
9. Take a hint, when I'm looking anywhere but your eyes on the doorstep.
10. Test me on Saved by the Bell Trivia. I'll whoop your arse.
1. Bring flowers. What is this...prom? Don't bring flowers unless we've been dating for a while.
2. Insist on me sitting in the car while you sprint to open my door. It's noted, you're a gentleman, move on.
3. Order for me unless I ask you to, which I won't.
4. Talk politics. BORING, LAME, and will possibly lead to an argument.
5. Talk about how much you play video games with your friends. You being awesome at Halo or World of Warcraft makes me want to punch myself and Andre Kirilenko in the face.
6. Tell me how many chicks you've hooked up with, unless I ask, but I'm not going to ask.
7. Ask me how long it has been since I've kissed someone. I will lie and say this morning.
8. Tell me my butt looks good in my jeans when we just met 5 minutes ago. I will slap your mug and sprint all the way home.
9. Tell me how hard it's going to be for us to date living an hour apart, on the first date.
10. Pick me up at 6:00 pm and bring me home at 1:30 am, especially when I preface the date with, "I have to get up early." (perhaps I have to harvest my crop)
11. LET me beat you in sports, I don't need your pity.
12. Talk about yourself the whole time, and then tell me you're a great listener.
Post edit on Oct. 7:
As per Shanae's comment we forgot a crucial deal breaking don't.
13. Wear jewelry. A watch is the only accessorizing you may do. Trust me, you will thank me later. Or maybe you won't, but you should. Rings, bracelets, necklaces; NO, NO, No!