We've been blogging freaks lately, where's our medal at? I should be blogging about why a 23 year old girl with brown hair, blue eyes, and a bangin' bod is blogging at 9:00 on a Sat. night but I'll spare you. All I want to do is be a smart aleck and no one is around to appreciate my mood so cyberspace.....enjoy.
I hate good news minute, it's lame and a waste of my time. For those of you who are blessed with a world free of "good news minutes" let me enlighten you. It's 5-10 minutes at the beginning of Relief Society every week, where the person conducting asks if anyone has good news. In my ward it usually goes something like this. "I'm getting married (high-pitched squeal). I know all of you are surprised because I'm 33 years old and I should have been kicked out of the ward 2 years ago, but the bishop just had a feeling that my significant other was in this ward so he let me stay and now I'm engaged. He's not that cute and he is like 9 years my junior but he is so nice and we are totally infatuated with each other." Or this little beauty. "My mom just had another baby, which is really funny because I'm 30 and now I have a brand new baby sister so that means my parents have kids from the age of 0-30. Anyway, I just love my brand new little sister. " Ummm pretty sure that your Mom having babies when she is 100 years old is not good news. This crap gets so old, I don't care. If we knew each other well enough for me to care about your good news I wouldn't have to hear about it during "good news minute" I would already know it.
This week I'm going to church at my parent's ward without any of my other family members present, and all I want to do is go to Relief Society and say completely ridiculous and un-true things about our family. "Well, yesterday Rrrosa had puppies, which is such a miracle because she's fixed and she doesn't have any female parts. We are so happy! We don't know who the dad is but we are going to love them just as much as if we knew who the dad was." That's the crap I want to hear! Or "Kate met this kid at Lagoon and they eloped to Vegas, which is so great because she really wanted to get married." Or "My Dad decided to quit his job to try to break into the hamster breeding business. He's always been really passionate about hamsters and breeding, so we really couldn't be happier for him." Wouldn't that be a nice suprise to come home to tons of bizarre garbage about your family floating around the ward? I think we should consider "B.S. minute," where the goal is changed from who can be the biggest bragger to who can create the most hilarious garbage. Relief Society would be so much more enjoyable this way. I think someone should really give this a whirl.