Tuesday, October 18, 2011
This stuff kills me......
For some reason animals dressed up or doing strange things kills me....
Sorry cat lovers! I could actually see Rrrosa doing this.
Delivery Dog. How humiliating.
For Santa.
The guy has fake hands and a bag, genius!
Drinking his cares away.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
The do's and don'ts of dating....US
Alright ladies and gents, I'm not going to claim that I know everything about dating because that would be ridiculous, but I have been dating for 10 years now. That's right, 10 years! Here's what I know as a result of my decade in the dating world....
With Kate's input, of course (she refuses to be left out of anything).
Do:
1. Pay for our date, ALWAYS.
2. Bring me candy.
3. NOT ask me where we are eating.
4. Be a Jazz fan.
5. Shower beforehand. (you'd be surprised)
6. Quote Seinfeld.
7. Appreciate my sports knowledge.
8. Tell me how good I look, even if I don't look that good.
9. Take a hint, when I'm looking anywhere but your eyes on the doorstep.
10. Test me on Saved by the Bell Trivia. I'll whoop your arse.
Don't:
1. Bring flowers. What is this...prom? Don't bring flowers unless we've been dating for a while.
2. Insist on me sitting in the car while you sprint to open my door. It's noted, you're a gentleman, move on.
3. Order for me unless I ask you to, which I won't.
4. Talk politics. BORING, LAME, and will possibly lead to an argument.
5. Talk about how much you play video games with your friends. You being awesome at Halo or World of Warcraft makes me want to punch myself and Andre Kirilenko in the face.
6. Tell me how many chicks you've hooked up with, unless I ask, but I'm not going to ask.
7. Ask me how long it has been since I've kissed someone. I will lie and say this morning.
8. Tell me my butt looks good in my jeans when we just met 5 minutes ago. I will slap your mug and sprint all the way home.
9. Tell me how hard it's going to be for us to date living an hour apart, on the first date.
10. Pick me up at 6:00 pm and bring me home at 1:30 am, especially when I preface the date with, "I have to get up early." (perhaps I have to harvest my crop)
11. LET me beat you in sports, I don't need your pity.
12. Talk about yourself the whole time, and then tell me you're a great listener.
Post edit on Oct. 7:
As per Shanae's comment we forgot a crucial deal breaking don't.
13. Wear jewelry. A watch is the only accessorizing you may do. Trust me, you will thank me later. Or maybe you won't, but you should. Rings, bracelets, necklaces; NO, NO, No!
Let's get real, this guy could do whatever he wanted and he could still have me.
With Kate's input, of course (she refuses to be left out of anything).
Do:
1. Pay for our date, ALWAYS.
2. Bring me candy.
3. NOT ask me where we are eating.
4. Be a Jazz fan.
5. Shower beforehand. (you'd be surprised)
6. Quote Seinfeld.
7. Appreciate my sports knowledge.
8. Tell me how good I look, even if I don't look that good.
9. Take a hint, when I'm looking anywhere but your eyes on the doorstep.
10. Test me on Saved by the Bell Trivia. I'll whoop your arse.
Don't:
1. Bring flowers. What is this...prom? Don't bring flowers unless we've been dating for a while.
2. Insist on me sitting in the car while you sprint to open my door. It's noted, you're a gentleman, move on.
3. Order for me unless I ask you to, which I won't.
4. Talk politics. BORING, LAME, and will possibly lead to an argument.
5. Talk about how much you play video games with your friends. You being awesome at Halo or World of Warcraft makes me want to punch myself and Andre Kirilenko in the face.
6. Tell me how many chicks you've hooked up with, unless I ask, but I'm not going to ask.
7. Ask me how long it has been since I've kissed someone. I will lie and say this morning.
8. Tell me my butt looks good in my jeans when we just met 5 minutes ago. I will slap your mug and sprint all the way home.
9. Tell me how hard it's going to be for us to date living an hour apart, on the first date.
10. Pick me up at 6:00 pm and bring me home at 1:30 am, especially when I preface the date with, "I have to get up early." (perhaps I have to harvest my crop)
11. LET me beat you in sports, I don't need your pity.
12. Talk about yourself the whole time, and then tell me you're a great listener.
Post edit on Oct. 7:
As per Shanae's comment we forgot a crucial deal breaking don't.
13. Wear jewelry. A watch is the only accessorizing you may do. Trust me, you will thank me later. Or maybe you won't, but you should. Rings, bracelets, necklaces; NO, NO, No!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Favorite Things Friday
2. BED - I love my bed. Not much more can be said. I don't want to get out of it in the morning, I think about napping in it all day at work, and I can't wait to get in it at night. Sometimes I get in bed at like 8:30pm, prop my laptop up on my stomach and watch netflix shows till I can't lift my eyelids anymore. Nothing beats it.
3. FALL WEATHER - I love fall clothes. Fall weather is perfect because you can wear cute stuff without having to cover it up with winter coats, and at night you can layer with cute cardis and light jackets. (I sound like such a girly girl) Of course with fall weather comes fall colors which everyone loves.
4. FALL TV - I get so excited for my shows to come back on. Namely Parenthood. If you haven't seen this show - WATCH IT NOW! From season 1 episode 1. You won't regret it. For some reason this show floods me with emotion. I feel like I'm a part of the Braverman family when I watch. I laugh, I cry, I yell. It's wonferful! Other goodies include Modern Family, Grey's Anatomy and Vampire Diaries (don't judge me).
5. FLAG FOOTBALL - I actually suck at sports. I have no athletic bone in my body. Everytime I go onto the field I'm putting myself at great risk of making a complete fool of myself and/or injuring myself. Even still, I love playing flag football. Mostly I just love winning and I happen to have played with really good teams the last couple of years and this year. Hoping for another t-shirt this year! Go Sorority!
6. HEYTEL - If you have a smart phone and you don't have this app GO GET IT! It's free and totally worth it. It's like a walky talky. Who doesn't love walky talkies?
7. CHEST HAIR - Calm down, I'm not talking about a sweater chest. But I'm not talking about 14 year old boy chest hair either. I dig a man. Obviously not a requirement, but definitely a plus.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Great things that happen in downtown Salt Lake City
I work downtown. So everyday I get to meander my little mini down the streets of the Salty City. It's a real pretty place to live. I like it. The mountains are awesome. It's a perfect temperature outside right now. Not much to complain about.
Here are some of the things I've seen lately. Sadly, I only have one picture to prove my findings, but once you see the picture below, I guarantee you'll believe the rest of it.
Let's start with the regulars:
African American lady on the corner of State Street and 4th South, let's call her Lady Stamina. She stands out there every day, and yells absolute nonsense to no one in particular. She waves her arms and points in the air and looks to the sky. She may be out of her ever-loving mind, but I gotta give the gal credit, she's out there all freakin day yelling her little heart out. Get em girl. You just do whatever it is you're doing out there.
Then there's the guy on Main Street who I can always count on sleeping atop a cement flower box with his arm over his face looking like he's had another rough night. I call him Hangover Joe. I kinda like the guy, he's so loyal to that flower box.
Yesterday, I saw a guy on 4th South and 3rd West (John Stockton Drive) where this homeless dude looked like he was about to cross the street, but was swaying so badly that he looked like he was going to fall over in the middle of the road. I then noticed he was missing his shoe which was a few feet in front of him, but he looked like a toddler trying to take his very first steps. The poor guy. The whole time I was sitting at the stoplight, he just couldn't get a hold of himself. As I pulled away and looked in my rear view mirror he was finally upon his shoe, now the big feat was to slip it on. Now THAT my friends can be tough for anybody, even if you're not cracked out. On a side note, Cracker Jack (that's what I'm calling him) had a smile on his face the whole time. Good for him for keeping a positive attitude through it all.
And then, one fateful day last week, I came upon it... I don't think I've ever been so happy at 7:45 in the AM; I'm not much of a morning person. I could describe what I saw, but I was lucky enough to snap a picture.
Behold...
Best part, if you look closely, you'll see a pillow for the dog to sit on. How nice. Comfort first. Heaven forbid this dog get some exercise or use its four legs. I'm not being sarcastic here, people!! This is the most genius thing I've ever seen. And even more genius, the dog STAYS in the little "trailer," if you will. A cat would NEVER do that.
Thanks Salt City, you've been really good to me lately.
Here are some of the things I've seen lately. Sadly, I only have one picture to prove my findings, but once you see the picture below, I guarantee you'll believe the rest of it.
Let's start with the regulars:
African American lady on the corner of State Street and 4th South, let's call her Lady Stamina. She stands out there every day, and yells absolute nonsense to no one in particular. She waves her arms and points in the air and looks to the sky. She may be out of her ever-loving mind, but I gotta give the gal credit, she's out there all freakin day yelling her little heart out. Get em girl. You just do whatever it is you're doing out there.
Then there's the guy on Main Street who I can always count on sleeping atop a cement flower box with his arm over his face looking like he's had another rough night. I call him Hangover Joe. I kinda like the guy, he's so loyal to that flower box.
Yesterday, I saw a guy on 4th South and 3rd West (John Stockton Drive) where this homeless dude looked like he was about to cross the street, but was swaying so badly that he looked like he was going to fall over in the middle of the road. I then noticed he was missing his shoe which was a few feet in front of him, but he looked like a toddler trying to take his very first steps. The poor guy. The whole time I was sitting at the stoplight, he just couldn't get a hold of himself. As I pulled away and looked in my rear view mirror he was finally upon his shoe, now the big feat was to slip it on. Now THAT my friends can be tough for anybody, even if you're not cracked out. On a side note, Cracker Jack (that's what I'm calling him) had a smile on his face the whole time. Good for him for keeping a positive attitude through it all.
And then, one fateful day last week, I came upon it... I don't think I've ever been so happy at 7:45 in the AM; I'm not much of a morning person. I could describe what I saw, but I was lucky enough to snap a picture.
Behold...
Best part, if you look closely, you'll see a pillow for the dog to sit on. How nice. Comfort first. Heaven forbid this dog get some exercise or use its four legs. I'm not being sarcastic here, people!! This is the most genius thing I've ever seen. And even more genius, the dog STAYS in the little "trailer," if you will. A cat would NEVER do that.
Thanks Salt City, you've been really good to me lately.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Mini Coop
This gal just got a new ride. She's going to get some serious tail driving this around SLC.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Favorite Things Friday
I'm sorry, but twoladiesandnobaby is about to de-rail from its normal light and fluffy nonsense. Forgive me! This week was a...challenge. So, in no particular order, here are my favorite things this week:
1. Miracles
2. Prayer
3. Family
4. Friends
5. Faith
6. Temple
No matter your trial I promise these 6 things can get you through anything!
xoxo, Ally Z
1. Miracles
2. Prayer
3. Family
4. Friends
5. Faith
6. Temple
No matter your trial I promise these 6 things can get you through anything!
xoxo, Ally Z
Friday, August 19, 2011
Favorite Things Friday
1. Completely ridiculous facebook STATUS UPDATES. I'm thiking of one person (ok 2) in particular who updates constantly. You'd think this would be more annoying than funny but these updates are laced with grammatical errors, mispelled words and absurdly long run-on sentences. I wish so badly I could post an example here but that's risky.
2. PINTEREST. What a great invention. Getting on Pinterest and perusing people's boards entertains me for hours. If you want an invite to join Pinterest let me know.
3. NEW clothes, shoes, makeup...anything new! Not shopping, just having new things.
4. Knowing I never have to eat INDIAN FOOD again. I learned yesterday that it doesn't taste bad, it's what happens after you ingest it when things get ugly. Nuff said.
5. I don't care what anyone says I love ANNE OF GREEN GABLES. I watched it again this week. She's a bit of a wing nut, but I still love it. "I don't want diamond sunbursts or marble halls, I just want you." Oh Gilbert Blythe!
6. J CREW. I almost have no words to describe how much I love J Cew. It's stupid, I know. But it never lets me down and always puts me in a better mood.
Have a good weekend!
xoxo, Ally Z
2. PINTEREST. What a great invention. Getting on Pinterest and perusing people's boards entertains me for hours. If you want an invite to join Pinterest let me know.
3. NEW clothes, shoes, makeup...anything new! Not shopping, just having new things.
4. Knowing I never have to eat INDIAN FOOD again. I learned yesterday that it doesn't taste bad, it's what happens after you ingest it when things get ugly. Nuff said.
5. I don't care what anyone says I love ANNE OF GREEN GABLES. I watched it again this week. She's a bit of a wing nut, but I still love it. "I don't want diamond sunbursts or marble halls, I just want you." Oh Gilbert Blythe!
Have a good weekend!
xoxo, Ally Z
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