Well ladies and gents today (May 16) is my BFF: Allyson Clare Zollinger's birthday. Here is a shout out to my one and only.
23 reasons why Ally's my girl:
1.She has showered with a live squirrel.
2.She's the youngest in her family of six so her mom let us do lots of stuff that my mom wouldn't let us do. Holla Diane
3. She has a serious thing for cowboys. Cowboy butts drive her nuts!
4. Ally dates and attracts older men!
5. Once in front of our whole ward she said that she was most grateful for reality T.V.
6. She has slit someone's tires.
7. She's the only person I've shared the backseat of a police car with.
8. She loves birds of prey.
9. She has Kramer esque (Seinfeld) tendencies. If she's caught off guard she makes these sudden jerky movements like Kramer.
10. She wants to quit her job to be a baker.
11. She hates it when people are naked in locker rooms.
12. She has crazy hands.
13. She hates stuffed animals.
14. She hearts Mad Libs
15. She can do a wolverine impersonation.
16. She's from Idaho but she hates winter and the cold.
17. Once she was playing baseball in 1st grade in front of her crush (ya she was crushing in 1st grade) and he tagged her out at first but she kept on running all the way home. The teacher had to break the news to her that she didn't make it past first, she's hated sports since. Sorry Al.
18. She got glasses when she was like 9 months old.
19. She hates unpacking.
20. She's very hardworking and loyal to her job.
21. Her favorite movie is Cutting Class--some of Brad Pitt's finest work.
22. She refuses to go to the bathroom in the woods.
23. She talks in her sleep. Last year when we shared a room she started yelling at me to shut the window (which I had already done) because she was freezing her A-S-S off. And yes she spelled ass. Never a dull moment.
Clary--Rat Fink's Anonymous is nothing without you. I couldn't ask for a better BFF. Thanks for sharing a seat with me and lying to the ferris wheel man at Fun Land when I wet my pants, not many people would have done that you are truly one of a kind. May year 23 be as monumental as year 4 was. Love, B
7 comments:
B, I just want you to know that if you tinkled all over the ferris wheel seat today I would still defend you to the ride operator till the day I die! Cause you're my gal! Even if I were simultaneously mopping it up with my striped, chord overall shorts.
BTW, dude, I was 7 when I got glasses. Okay, maybe 6. But they rocked and people were jealous cause they were cotton candy pink.
We can't believe our little girl has grown up! You have provided our family with moments of intense humor despite the rough circumstances (family vacations - Palm Springs/California/New York and Vermont) On this Birthday occasion we are honorarily inducting you into the Polson Hall of Fame. This award is more significant than a dundee but carries little value on a resume or referencing when trying to impress hot manly young or old men (mainly between 30 and 50)
We love ya!
Clarey,
I support your desire to quit your job and become a baker. Go after your dream!! Don't let the man get you down! Happy Birfdey. I heart you and your quirks.
-Kate
aka Ferret Lover
PS. I also have a thing for cowboys
-Kate
Ally, you are my sunshine.
Can't wait to make a few crazy memories with you and your crazy ladies on the cruise.
Happy b-day.
Cels
Hey, my 23rd year was when I went on my mission. That sounds like fun, doesn't it?
Dear Ally
HAPPY Belated BIRFDAY!! i'm proud to say that i'm in the may club, because i also have a may birthday along with you, bec and kata.
let's not wait too long before having another dirty mad libs filled night, okay?
and please make me some mac and cheese with self-rising flour again, because i loved it.
I totally forgot about the self rising flour. How sad for me. I'm a pathetic cook. Good thing I have a nice booty and a killer rack!
Happy birthday to you too! We should celebrate with the new JUMBO mad libs book I bought and the Rum Extract I have to go pick up from the kitchen supply store. YAY! Go Birthday month!
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